Practicing Real Empathy for Mental Wellness Among Women Facing Gender-Based Violence and the Youth Struggling with Gender Identity in the African Patriarchal Society

In many African societies, where patriarchal systems have historically shaped social norms and power dynamics, the mental wellness of vulnerable populations—particularly women experiencing gender-based violence (GBV) and youth grappling with gender identity—remains under-prioritized and often stigmatized. In communities where individuals are grappling with the dual challenges of patriarchy and evolving gender identities, real empathy is not a luxury—it is a lifeline. It bridges the gap between pain and healing, silence and expression, exclusion and belonging. The intersection of culture, gender, and mental health demands not just awareness but a deeper, more transformative practice: real empathy. Real empathy goes beyond sympathy or surface-level concern; it involves active listening, emotional attunement, and structural advocacy to understand and respond to the lived experiences of those suffering in silence. To support the mental wellness of women facing GBV and youth navigating gender identity, we must cultivate a culture of genuine empathy—one that listens deeply, acts justly, and embraces every human being in their full complexity and worth.

The Burden of Patriarchy on Mental Wellness

Patriarchy in Africa manifests through rigid gender roles, male dominance, and the devaluation of women's and sexual minorities' voices. Women who endure GBV are frequently silenced, blamed, or forced to remain in abusive relationships due to economic dependence, cultural taboos, or religious constraints. Meanwhile, young individuals who challenge heteronormative gender expectations are marginalized, bullied, or labelled as abnormal and immoral. These realities contribute to chronic mental health issues such as depression, anxiety, post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), and suicidal ideation. The problem is compounded by limited access to mental health services, societal stigma around seeking help, and the normalization of violence and discrimination. In such a context, practicing real empathy becomes not only a moral imperative but also a form of resistance against oppressive systems that dehumanize and isolate.

Understanding Real Empathy

Real empathy requires a shift from judgment to understanding, from assumptions to curiosity, and from detachment to meaningful connection. It involves stepping into the emotional and psychological world of another person, without imposing one’s own biases or cultural preconceptions. For women facing GBV, this means listening to their stories without blaming them or questioning their choices. It means creating safe spaces where survivors can express their pain and receive emotional validation. Empathy here should lead to action—offering support, connecting them with services, or advocating for policy changes that protect women’s rights and safety. For young people exploring or asserting their gender identity, real empathy means affirming their right to self-expression and existence. Instead of moralizing or pathologizing their experiences, empathetic adults—especially parents, teachers, and religious leaders—should seek to understand the psychological toll of societal rejection and offer compassion, not condemnation.

Empathy as a Tool for Healing and Social Transformation

Empathy can be a powerful tool for individual and collective healing. When a survivor of GBV or a
queer youth feels seen and heard, they begin to reclaim their agency and dignity. Community-led peer support groups, trauma-informed counselling, and culturally sensitive storytelling initiatives are practical ways to foster empathy and mental wellness. Moreover, empathy challenges harmful norms. When men are encouraged to listen without defensiveness, when faith leaders choose compassion over condemnation, and when schools promote inclusivity, a cultural shift begins. Empathy transforms bystanders into allies and caregivers into champions of mental wellness and human rights.

The Role of Institutions and Civil Society

Governments, religious institutions, and civil society organizations must institutionalize empathy in their policies and programming. This includes integrating gender and mental health education into school curricula, training healthcare providers in culturally competent counselling, and enacting laws that protect both survivors of GBV and individuals of diverse gender identities. Faith-based groups can also play a transformative role by emphasizing love, inclusion, and healing rather than shame and punishment. NGOs and community groups must invest in safe spaces—physical and digital—where storytelling, art, and dialogue can thrive as tools for empathy-building.

How to Walk the Journey of Healing from a Toxic Relationship

Healing from a toxic relationship is a deeply personal and transformative journey that requires time, self-compassion, and intentional effort. 

Toxic relationships—marked by manipulation, emotional abuse, control, or neglect—can leave deep psychological wounds that affect one’s self-worth, trust, and emotional well-being. 

Walking the path toward healing involves several key steps: recognizing the toxicity, committing to self-care, seeking support, processing emotions, rebuilding identity, and cultivating forgiveness.

Step 1. Recognizing the Toxicity

The first step toward healing is acknowledging the reality of the toxic relationship. Denial often serves
as a defense mechanism, but true healing begins when a person recognizes that their relationship was harmful. This means confronting uncomfortable truths—perhaps that love was used as a tool for control or that one’s boundaries were repeatedly violated. Accepting this reality is essential, not to dwell on the pain, but to understand what one is healing from.

2. Committing to Self-Care

Toxic relationships often drain emotional, mental, and even physical energy. Once free from the relationship, one must prioritize self-care as a way to restore balance. This includes adequate rest, healthy eating, regular exercise, and engaging in activities that bring joy and peace. Mindfulness practices like meditation, journaling, and deep breathing can help ground a person and reconnect them to their inner self.

3. Seeking Support

Healing in isolation is difficult. Finding a safe space to talk—whether with friends, family, support groups, or a professional therapist—can be incredibly therapeutic. Support systems validate one’s experiences and provide reassurance that they are not alone. Therapy, in particular, can help unpack complex emotions, set healthy boundaries, and develop strategies for moving forward.

4. Processing Emotions

Emotions such as anger, sadness, guilt, shame, and confusion are normal after a toxic relationship. It is important not to suppress these feelings but to face them with honesty and patience. Emotional healing requires feeling the pain, understanding its roots, and releasing it in healthy ways. This might involve crying, writing, talking, or using creative outlets like art or music to express what cannot be spoken.

5. Rebuilding Identity

Toxic relationships can distort one’s sense of self. A vital part of healing is rediscovering personal
identity—values, passions, strengths, and dreams. This might involve setting new goals, trying new hobbies, or simply relearning to enjoy one’s own company. Reclaiming autonomy and self-worth restores confidence and sets the stage for healthier future relationships.

6. Cultivating Forgiveness

Forgiveness in the context of healing is often misunderstood. It does not mean excusing the harm done or reconciling with the abuser. Instead, it is about releasing resentment and freeing oneself from the emotional grip of the past. Forgiving oneself is just as crucial—many survivors blame themselves for staying too long or missing the signs. True healing involves compassion toward oneself and choosing not to let the past dictate the future.

 

The journey of healing from a toxic relationship is not linear—it involves setbacks, breakthroughs, and
constant learning. It is a sacred path of rediscovery, resilience, and rebirth. With patience, support, and intentional steps, it is possible not just to recover, but to grow stronger, wiser, and more attuned to one’s worth. Healing is not just about leaving the pain behind; it’s about walking forward with purpose, toward a life rooted in love, respect, and peace.